Before the baby, I had a lot of empty time and space to read, write, wander, doodle, or just do nothing. Meghna Gulzar’s advice to her son: Don’t take success seriously Raazi director Meghna Gulsays says that her eight-year-old son Samay keeps on changing his ambition on a daily basis.

But women have to realise that it takes a lot to fight battles at the workplace too.

He went wherever I went, he ate what I ate, he slept when I slept, everything was taken care of. On a personal level, yes, from having been a really independent person to being someone who was on call and responsible 24/7 for another person was a huge change. It felt like I was stuck with the menial, the mundane. I felt trapped.When you are a stay-at-home-mom, small things matter.

A year after Meghna’s birth, Gulzar saab and Rakhee had parted ways.

It’s not that I jumped into motherhood soon after marriage.

People who write about parenting also need to write responsibly and realistically, not always project it as a rosy, picture-perfect ride. You are on a plateau now. Meghna Gulzar cannot imagine what it is like being Taimur Ali Khan. She has directed films like Talvar and Raazi. I was married for 10 years and then had a baby; my expectations were fairly realistic, so in a sense, the angst was less. And yet, it took me a while to wrap my head around it—what I thought I was ready for and what actually happens are two entirely different things. It truly takes a village to raise a child—at least that is how we were raised. For the first 3-4 months, I was totally at sea. Mentally and creatively, I had decided to shut shop around the time Samay (my son) was born. Your mom will come back. So it took me a long time to adjust to the fact that my time wasn’t mine any more.Unrealistically, when my son was two; or at least that’s when I thought things would get easier. I worried a lot; and as women, we tend to internalise these things too. Like your partner asking you how the day was, what problems did you face, helping with the laundry, the dishes, the grocery shopping, not taking a well-oiled home for granted, realising it takes work to put food on the table. Children's Day: A letter from poet Gulzar to daughter Meghna; Children’s Day: A letter from poet Gulzar to daughter Meghna You have already broken the record of your father’s qualification. I didn’t like that. Meghna Gulzar was born to a poet and novelist Gulzar and actress Rakhee Gulzar. But it took the wind out of me.

Samay was really lucky to have his father around a lot during that period.And there are no rules really, it’s a continuous process of learning and discovery. Gulzar saab had married the golden girl of the Hindi film industry, Raakhee Majumdar, and it was in 1973, when the lovebirds had welcomed their first child, their daughter, Meghna Gulzar.

Meghna Gulzar was born on 13th December 1973 in Mumbai Maharashtra, India. Govind fortunately is the complete opposite. But our children are raised in nuclear families and our dependence on external resources—however fickle and unpredictable they may be—is huge. I told her, let me do this and you watch. And that the men are not out there, cruising on a yacht or having champagne lunches all the time. Perhaps the angst for stay-at-home-mothers is that all the work they do does not translate economically into anything and that can be frustrating. That was my ticket. We had a fair idea of what had gone wrong and the objective was to at least spark a debate and make people ask the right questions. We shot the film for 40 days over a year, because we shot across locations, seasons etc.

But when he was ready for big school, around the time he was around 3.5-years old is when I knew that a lot of his day would be really taken up by school.

My mom doesn’t even come home some days.” It’s then that I knew that my timing for going back to work was just right. Both Vishal (Bharadwaj) and I realised that the only way to approach the subject fairly was to be clinical about it.

There is only one thing that connects these two, otherwise separated by generations — both were born to celebrity parents. Some Lesser Known Facts About Meghna Gulzar. How did your life change personally/professionally after the birth of your child?

They were also an older set of grandparents, which is also a fallout of modern marriages where you have kids much later. Age 3-5 is when the core personality of a child is formed. I knew that it was affecting him, because his teacher told me he was getting cranky, grumpy and that something was bothering him.
But one day, his teacher told me that Samay was trying to console a classmate whose mother had recently returned to work by saying, “Don’t worry. Govind actually took a year off when he was switching careers from a corporate to an entrepreneurial role and was home every single day when I was out shooting Managing a household, a baby, the househelp, the nanny, the meals and other such was not the essence of me, although I did it for a long time. I know about stereotypes and men who think it’s an act of bravado to rock a baby to sleep or who get points for nothing.

Congratulations! On one hand, he was was doing these million dollar deals in his workplace, but he made sure he was there to take Samay out in the evenings.But even so, I would have my outbursts, and tell him that his life hadn’t changed while I was left constantly fending for the baby.

It was a conscious decision. Although I did make my documentary while I was pregnant, but it was easier then.

Meghna Gulzar is an Indian film director, producer, and writer.

What is important while raising a child is mutual respect and appreciation for each other.Strangely, there weren’t any anxieties, although my mother had her apprehensions. After all, one is constantly putting out fires while running a home, and it’s nice to have a partner who doesn’t take things for granted.

In her family, she is a single child of her parents.
We need realistic images, stories and symbols of motherhood that completely understand what it takes, what really goes on.


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